the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
