im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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