he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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