Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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