Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Randomize
