so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
