how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
