Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
