One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
