ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We smell like vodka and hangover
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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