I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
