I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
