Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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