I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
