So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I didn't shave. On purpose
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
