Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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