Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
