I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
