Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
did you just send me my own nude
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
