Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
