Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
