a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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