I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
