i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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