im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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