I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
