cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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