no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
