His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
