we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
