That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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