3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
