dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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