I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
