I wanna bring you to show and tell
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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