This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize