you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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