you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
