I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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