Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
