she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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