I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
