so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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