Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize