my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
