i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
