I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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