The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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