Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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