I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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