i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
