Someone shit on the floor
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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