Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
