another moral hangover. fuck.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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