First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
