that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
